your parents love me but you hate me
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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