they need to just BURY HIM!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
