sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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