I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
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I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
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Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
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