Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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