Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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