i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol