You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
