It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
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