Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
