you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
