my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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