Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize