stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
