I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize