I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
