so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
