Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
