You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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