I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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