Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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