North Korea, Best Korea!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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