i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
