I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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