They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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