I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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