sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize