Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
