This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
