Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
