If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize