I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
My breasts were aching with rage.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
