Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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