I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Randomize
