Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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