Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
