drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
