sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
