i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
