fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Randomize
