That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
