Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
