I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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