GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
