I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
