just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
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So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
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Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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