i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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