You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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