Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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