He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
