Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
