You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize