nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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