there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
