I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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