I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
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The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
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i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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