I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
